Howard I. Gross

Howard Irwin Gross, Age 97, died on May 16 at home with grace and dignity in his native West Hartford. He was surrounded by his beloved puppies, most loyal caregivers, his local family and in spirit by his New York and Vermont family members who could not be by his side due to the pandemic. Cheers, Dad! Because your glass was always half full, our glasses are overflowing!! Howard was born on May 6, 1923 to Abraham and Eva (Goldenthal) Gross at Mount Sinai Hospital, the day before its formal opening. He was educated in West Hartford schools through his graduation from Hall High in 1941. There, he developed his love of the written and spoken word, theater and music which was to continue until his last days. A good book and a good joke (along with good Scotch), British theater and excellent classical and jazz music were among his favorite companions. While a student at UConn, Howard enlisted in the US Army after Pearl Harbor. He served as a 2nd lieutenant in the Military Police in the South Pacific; he retired in 1946 after a year spent in an army hospital due to a war related illness. Those who knew our Dad were aware that throughout his adult life, he had a true aversion to hospitals both as a visitor and a patient. Howard returned to his studies at UConn, graduating from law school in 1951 and beginning what turned out to be 58 years as a highly respected member of the Connecticut Bar. In that same year, he married Jean Patur, with whom he had two daughters, Stephanie and Meg. He began his practice of law, moving from Park Road to Constitution Plaza, to his building on Farmington Ave., not retiring until the age of 87 from the firm of Levy and Droney of Farmington. Howard was a lifelong aviation enthusiast and spent many years as a private pilot. Early in his career he was asked to spearhead the 1950s fight to save Brainard Field. He became a charter member and then Chairman of the Ct Aeronautical Historical Society (later known as the Connecticut Aviation Museum). He was also a director of the National Pilots Association. Howard’s career in law spanned many decades and many areas of civil law. He was Secretary and Treasurer of the Connecticut Bar Association, a 20 year member of the Ethics Committee and served for many years on the Board of Governors. He travelled to Washington and was sworn in before the U.S. Supreme Court. Over the years, he developed a reputation for his expertise in Estate Planning, authoring a book in the 1990s titled, The Trustees Guide. He loved the role of mentor and over the years we heard from many younger associates how much they felt they had learned from him. He enjoyed sharing his knowledge and advising friends, family members and individuals who would cross his path. Time and again we have heard tributes to his generosity of wit, spirit, friendship, liquid libations, and cash when least expected, often delivered with a succinct personal note. Howard unquestionably possessed a true “joie de vivre.” He loved to laugh, celebrate and experience the good things in life with others when possible, and as a parent, encouraged us to do the same. “Life is uncertain”, he would quip, “eat dessert first!”. In 1967 he experienced what he described as the most important event in his life: his marriage to Susan Huber. With Suzie he had more than 50 years of joyful companionship until her death in April 2018. Suzie brought him Mindy and Wendy, who became his daughters too, her own zest for great food, late night adventures and parties, many laughs, good music and travel. Among his greatest joys were their many travels to Europe including an 8-day hot air balloon ride through the Loire Valley. He also enjoyed trips to London and his beloved France with his daughters and granddaughters as well as trips with his good friend John Walker. Howard is survived by his daughters Stephanie L Gross of Brooklyn, NY, Margaret(Meg) Howard and her partner Tom Northrop of Huntington, Vermont, Melinda Ottmann of Farmington, Wendy Wassell and her partner Mark Resnisky of Farmington, grandchildren April M. Howard of Burlington, Vermont, her husband Benjamin Dangl and their children Leon and Eulalia; Jennifer Therian and her husband Tim of Windsor and their son Axel. He was predeceased by his beloved wife, Susan and his grandson Elias Howard. The family would like to acknowledge the incredible loyalty and amazing care Howard received during his last two years from Josephine Bosompem and Donna and Desiree Royce. Howard left us, his children, with the immortal words of Joe E. Lewis (or was it Mae West??!!) “You only live once, but if you do it right, once will be enough.” Au revoir, Dad! Wherever you are, may there be escargot, Prosecco and good cigars! Taylor & Modeen Funeral Home, West Hartford has care of arrangements. For online condolences, please visit www.taylorandmodeen.com.

Howard I. Gross

May 16, 2020